2nd day Puasa 2012 (22 July 2012)

Today, we are having bubur tepong pulut for dessert for breaking fast..and donut for Kak Nini, my special girl..

Afiq and his fiance has gone back to KL this morning leaving 8 of us for break fasting...It's good to have family members at this time..It somehow makes me feels old, having the children coming back for Ramadhan. To them, they all "balik kampong" to our house..It is a good feeling....

Puasa in 2012

Today is the first day of fasting in 2012 which falls on 21 July 2012. This year there are so many changes in our life that has great effects on all of us especially mentally.

Before that this is my first kuih for berbuka which I made myself. Sedap or not..that is not the question..janji I made it myself..All the children came home to celebrate Ramadhan at home. Afiq and his fiance, Alia brought back her friend, Aini. Zhafri, Amir and Auni. Me and hubby. and not forgetting, my maid, Ami...making a total of 10 of us.

We just heard about the passing of my sis-in-law's father. Innalillahhiwainna illahhirajiun. Al-Fatihah for arwah.

This year will be the first year we celebrate Ramadhan without my beloved mom.. Puasa and Raya will never be the same again without her. Semoga rohnya dicucuri Rahmat dan di tempatkan di kalangan orang-orang yang beriman...Aminn..

MOM...I MISS U..

Missing my mom dearly..It's been 5 months now but why is my heart still hurting...

Life partner : sanggupkah sehidup semati?

We had a gift. Gift of Love from the Al-Mighty. How we use the gift is another story. Some can treasure them and carry them to their grave. Some is still searching for it until they go to their grave. Some, even had it but let it go before they enter their grave.. We have the choice and we make our choices. There shouldn't be any regrets if we made our own choices. We just have to live with our choices.

When we were young, we hardly think of our life partner. Someone may came along our way and we thought that person is our life partner. But life moves on and another person came along and we still thought that person is our life partner. We can never be sure until he/she became our life partner. Even if we married that person, we can never be sure he/she is our life partner. The relationship may end any time during our course of life.

I always belief that a life partner is someone who will always treasure you till the end of time even after that. Someone who will forever put you on the pedestal no matter who you are. Life partner is not only for this life but also for the afterlife. How may of us actually find their true life partner?? I'm sure most would say that they have found him/her. But, as an afterthought..how many of this life partner would think of you every single day after you are gone?? How many are willing to treasure your memory till the end of their time..?

I have seen few who truly loves their partner but after he/she has left, finally their heart turn to someone else. "Life goes on..." the famous quote. If they say love can be shared with many..I doubt that it is true love. There is only one true love and that love can never be shared with any...

"Till death do us part"..what about after death? Most women will remain single after the death of their husband..but most men will remarry after their wife departed..Does it mean women's loves are stronger than men??? Women are more loyal and true to their love ones..? Do wonder about that.. Why do we need to replace our love ones after we had spent our whole adult life with him/her? Why do we cried our eyes out on his/her death bed and looking for their replacement the next day..? Have we actually found our life partner..?

I do not know the answer to all the questions..but one thing for sure...not many of us had actually found our true love. Someone we would share our life alive and after they left..Someone irreplaceable or forgotten for all eternity..Well..we wouldn't know until we face it when the time comes...

I often wonder, how would the departed feels when their life partner who had pledged his/her love for eternity, finally remarried ..? Or do they actually feel..? Or..how would the living partner feels to remarry again after his/her love had departed? Will there be any guilt or betrayal in their hearts...or they just figure out that.."Life goes on.."

So the question is ..are you just a life partner or eternal partner?

24th November 2011

It was on the 21st of November, my family and I went to Alor Setar, my hometown, to pick up our new maid. But first, we decided to drop by my parents' house. Both my parents were there..It was just like any other visits to their home. My dad will sit at his chair and chatting with my husband while my kids did their own stuffs. And me, I will follow my mom wherever she went. So, I follow her to the kitchen. She was chatting all the way and told me about her sprankled ankle. I can see the bandage at her ankle. "Did it still hurt,mom?" She said no but she told me that at that point, she could here and loud "pop" when it happened. She planned to go for "urut" and wanted to asked my youngest brother to pick her up. But since we were there, she told me she planned to go the next day. That day we left their house at 6.30pm. Why did I felt like hugging her when we were leaving?? I was looking at her face..and there was something different which I cant put my finger on it. I really wanted to hugged her but I did not...Now I wish I had....:( That was the last smile I see on my mom's face and will always remember that last smile...

We picked up the new maid and went straight home. I received a call from my sis in law - my mom has to be admitted and later fell into coma..My husband and I rushed back to Alor Setar that same night and when we reached my mom was already in coma and to be taken to the Hospital Sultanah Bahiyah, Alor Setar. I rode the ambulance with her. God only knew how I felt at the time..Just a matter of a few hours ago, she was all smiles and now she was lying so still in the ambulance.

I prayed so hard for her to open her eyes and smile at me again. I guess I was hoping for a miracle...After tests were done, the doctor told me that she had a massive brain haemorrhage and there was nothing that can be done anymore...

On 24th November 2011, I was so tired and sleepy and left the hospital at 3.20am. I told my son to call me if there are any changes. I received the call at 3.30am saying that my mom's pulse was slowing down. My mom left us at 3.57am on 24th November 2011. Al-fatihah..


Mom, I love you..and missing you every hour of the day..You touched so many hearts and left happiness in them. You are loved by every one who knew you because you have a beautiful heart.

Ramadhan 2011

It is now 23 Ramadhan 1432 = 23August 2011. Seven more days of fasting. We have bought "Baju Raya" for the kids, my mom and for MIL. I got mine at one of the bazaar at Prai, Penang. At this age, I dont need expensive new clothes any more.

I remember those days when I will go to the boutique for my baju raya. I was single then..Now I cant afford to dress lavishly. Let the kids enjoy themselves.They will soon grow out of it.

Kad Raya...nowadays it is almost extinct. But it would be great to receive one once in awhile especially from someone special.

Kuih Raya is a must.I will bake a cake and make some cookies but majorities especially the traditional cookies will need to be bake using my fingers..hehehe..at the office.

Open House Raya...it has become a tradition to visit relatives' and friends' houses during this festive season. Now, invitation was sent out to invite friends and families to their house.

Ketupat, be it ketupat pulut or ketupat nasi will be served together with Rendang ayam or rendang daging. Now they even have Rendang Ikan. Ketupat also can be eaten with serunding daging or ayam.

Duit Raya ..this is a time of giving and celebrating the end of fasting.Those days, duit raya was only 10cents or 20cents. Now, it went up to RM2 to RM10 each. Some even went up to rm50 to RM100. No matter what, we cant compare with the Chinese New Year's ang pow..Huge amount!!

WISHING HERE TO ALL MY MUSLIM FRIENDS AND FAMILIES..SELAMAT HARI RAYA. MAAF ZAHIR AND BATIN..TO ALL MY NON-MUSLIM FRIENDS, HAVE AN ENJOYABLE RAYA CELEBRATION AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS....KEEP SMILING:)

Safety Comes first...do you care?

Safety of our loved ones is usually upmost in our mind...but does it always the most important matter in everyone's mind?

Well..every morning I send my kids to school and I usually took the shortest and yet the least busy route to their school. I timed all the possible routes and found one which is the fastest time to reach their schools. But...I had to passed through one kampong road..What I experienced every morning, makes me wonder ..Do these people care about their kids' life?

• 3 small children about 8 to 10 yo crossing a busy road, carrying heavy bags, without any adult supervising them. I've seen the cars had to break hard to avoid them..God forbid..if something should happened ...
• A father riding motorbike with 4 children-(one in front and 3 at the back)..only the father is wearing a helmet...Wonder where are their bags??
• A boy in school uniform, about 9yo, riding his bicycle on a narrow road (usually Kampong road is quite narrow)..without any light. Every time there's a water puddle, he would just swerve the bike to avoid it..mind you, there are a lot of water puddles on this road...you can imagine the car behind him had to slow down to a crawl to avoid hitting him..

How could any parents put their children's life at risk or are they just couldn't be bothered? These are some of the examples that I've seen on the road every morning..Not to mention the older boys with their motorbikes ( without helmet) racing with friends on the road...There was an accident which costs one life due to these boys about a year ago. An old man was hit and run by them. The police manage to identify them when one of the name tag with the school badge was found at the scene..Crime doesn't pay..

To all parents out there..children are god's gifts to us...Love and care for them..Think of their safety above anything else..